found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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