so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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