But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
