I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
