This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
she looked like the before picture.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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