Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
