Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize