I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
