So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
