The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
