i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
