Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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