it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
