I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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