Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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