Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
