she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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