your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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