Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize