You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
