I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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