dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
