Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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