My sheets look like a crime scene.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
