after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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