Already got asked if we're dating
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
