Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
