Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
