Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
