I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
