haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
