I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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