i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
