taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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