think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
