my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
