Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
