i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
