I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
