it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
