that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
