I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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