no, he came in my armpit
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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