I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
