dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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