Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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