dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
