I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
