At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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