Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
