Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
