fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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