I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I know her cup size but not her name....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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