Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
