he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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