my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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