You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So much rum. So many feels.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
