Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
