Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
