In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
