Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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