So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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