girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
