Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
