$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
