I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
