Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
