she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
