Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
